Tuesday, August 25, 2009

My Split Personality

Hi, my name is Walter Fey. I am a sixty year old retired man, and I live in Rhode Island. My wife's name is Cheryl and we have two grown children. I love giving horseback riding lessons to young, STUPID (whoops, watch out! Here comes Taylor), ANNOYING girls.

Hi, my name is Taylor Crookston. I a am sixteen year old young man. I really need money, and the idea of making twenty dollars in hour is just splendid. I give basic riding lessons (I loathe the term "horseback riding" and have no idea why) to girls around the age of 7 to 9. But here is the thing: when it comes to horses, I am an anal perfectionist. Frankly, I really cannot understand why a girl can't keep her heel down in her stirrup; I instead repeat myself for thirty-five minutes straight. And outwardly I am having the time of my life, smiling and of course following my critiques always comes some positive reinforcement. Inwardly, however, I morph into Walter- and yes, he is cousins with Tina. Walter loves little girls and never loses his patience. Occasionally he will get distracted thinking about his oldest son, Mark. They don't get along very well, mostly because Walter is devout Catholic and Mark married a Buddhist...

Mhmm, I know I have problems, but this is how I remain patient with my girls and I have to say they are improving greatly. My shy girl will even say hi to me now. We are just growing in leaps and bounds.


  1. Hahahaha!!! Gosh Taylor, no wonder you scared your pater!

  2. We both know that I read this a long time ago, but I just wanted to say that I love it :)